UnconditionalBodyBeautiful5

Unconditional Body Beautiful: Part Five: MY DERRIÉRE

It’s been four fabulous months of Unconditional Body Beautiful. This month, the self-love journey continues. In this next installment we’re focusing on one of my favorite parts of the body– the onion, the badonkadonk, the nalgas, the booty. Yes, my lovelies, today we’re chatting derrière.

The derrière is one of the most popular body parts out there. If your body was high school, your derrière would be prom queen. It’s shapely curves have inspired artists (Botero), designers (Apple Bottoms) and musicians (Sir Mix-A-Lot, Destiny’s Child, Queen) to name just a few. But like most trendy love stories, you will see the focus jumps from big booty obsession à la Niki Minaj to small booty supermodel love à la Gisele Bündchen. In the end (see what I did there?) what matters is not what’s “in” when it comes to the latest booty trend, but that you love the booty you were given– regardless of its size or shape.


“Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.” ― Mae West


 My booty has never and will never be small. It’s voluminous presence is a gift from my African heritage.

When I was younger I was embarrassed by the size of my booty because of the unwanted attention it received. For me, it took some time to get comfortable with the maturing of my body from little girl to young woman. I was actually quite embarrassed by the looks and comments received by my developing curves. I didn’t gain an appreciation for my derrière until I was in college.

Although the appreciation was now there, the realities of “big booty problems” became clear. What big booty problems you ask? Well, how about trying on the same skirt with a girlfriend only to discover the fit of your skirt was “off” in the back because it was raised several inches than the front due to your voluminous derriere. Or never getting a perfect size jean fit. Fits your hips and booty just right, but it’s about 3 sizes too big on the waist– thank goodness for boyfriend jeans and good tailors. And the catcalling, *insert major side eye here* I live with my big booty 24/7 therefore I don’t need to be reminded of how monumental it is or certainly not be told of its “juiciness” — it’s my body you’re talking about not a damn burger! Keep walking.

But pervy catcallers aside, I have great appreciation for the curves my derrière bestows on my body. I love the way dresses skim its silhouette and the way a great pair of jeans/pants sit just right and embrace its majestic shape– like a queen on her throne. It’s by far one of my greatest and favorite assets.

So, no matter how big, small or in-between your derrière is, it’s time to embrace it because regardless of how it’s portrayed in the media, it’s part of your body, not a fashion accessory or a trend. And don’t preoccupy yourself with fitting into society’s mold, because molds are meant to be broken. Until next time, my lovelies– remember to be kind and loving to yourselves and each other,

 

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Unconditional Body Beautiful is a self-love series created by Rebequita Rose“It is a year-long collaboration which I created-slash-founded, and I will be doing this with many other bloggers…We will focus mostly on discussing our bodies more than on fashion, but at the same time we will fuse the two together.”

#UnconditionalBodyBeautiful

On the 18th of every month we will each publish a new post discussing that month’s theme (body part), so be sure to keep an eye out for the hashtag on social media for some wonderful posts and body love inspiration.
 For more #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful inspiration be sure to check out these wonderful blogs:
BeachBodyReady

Are You Beach Body Ready?

Every year before summer starts we’re bombarded with “are you beach ready?” messages. And it’s always the same tactic —

Winter’s gone. Let us body shame you so that you can buy our “miracle” product that will sculpt and mold you into an unattainable version of your body. But hey, if you fail and don’t look like our (most likely photo-shopped) version of the ideal woman/man then it’s your fault. You’re the failure because our products work.

Well, guess what? It’s not you, it’s these fad diet programs and companies trying to make a buck out of chipping away at your self-esteem. The more you think you need “work” the more money you spend on their crap. And the more you buy, the more money they make.

Now I’m all for self-improvement, but at your own pace and in a healthy manner both mental and physical. Take it from a woman who has fad dieted and yo-yo’d most of her life. Fad diets DO NOT work. They aren’t about creating a better, happier, healthier you– it’s about mass marketing insecurities and exploiting them. After all, the same people who create these ridiculous standards of beauty are the ones telling us we don’t fit in their “perfect” standards unless we buy their products.

The truth is, even the strongest of us, the most involved in this positive body image movement have days when we are hard on our bodies.

When I put on my swimsuit for the first time this season, I stood in front of my bedroom mirror and nit picked every single dimple, wrinkle, lump. Five minutes into my internal rant I realized what I was doing to myself and I forced myself to stop. You see, years of body degradation are hard to erase. Yes they can be overcome and we can live happy in the body we are in, but our minds have been so exposed to these ads and marketing campaigns that part of us thinks this is the only way to exist. And that’s not true. It’s so far from the truth my lovelies.

You see, life is fleeting and part of existing in this life is living it. Not locked away hating yourself or your body. And I know it’s easier said than done, especially in today’s social media age. Everywhere you look everyone seems to be filtered to perfection. Even being plus size feels like it comes with standards sometimes. Am I the right kind of fatty? Are my curves the right kind of curves?– Well, you know what? Yes!

You may be in  the exact place you want to be with your body, you might be in the middle or even the beginning of your journey. But you’re here and that, my loves, makes you the right kind of everything.  So are you beach/summer/life ready? Yes you are! And don’t let any company, person, or even yourself tell you or make you feel otherwise.

Now go out there and kick summer’s ass! Until next time my lovelies,

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VivaMexico curves a la mode

Viva Mexico!

Earlier this week two girlfriends and I decided to take time out of the daily work grind and go on a “Grown-up Spring Break” to Cancun, México. We booked our room at the lovely all-inclusive resort Royal Solaris, packed our bags, grabbed our passports and headed out for some well deserved r&r.

Day 1

We arrived in Cancun around 9 am so we had plenty of time to enjoy our first day. After checking in, looking around our room and drooling over the breathtaking views of the Caribbean sea we threw on our swimsuits and headed downstairs for lunch and some fun in the sun.

It was a gorgeous Mexican day. The temperature was in the mid 80s , it was sunny and breezy– you couldn’t have asked for better weather. So, after our yummy lunch we headed poolside and got our sun on!

We started out on the pool chairs and eventually found our way into the swim-up bar, because when in México…tequila is always on the menu. Now I don’t know if it was the tequila or “Danza Kuduro” that enticed us, but we ended up in a very fun water aerobics class that led to a lot of laughing and some very sore muscles the next day.

Later that night, after some warm soothing showers and a nap we dolled ourselves up and headed downstairs to grab dinner and check out the moon dance performance. It was magical to see the dancers dressed in Aztec costumes dancing on the beach as the sun set behind them.

Day 2

The second day started out with breakfast and a quick trip into town for some souvenir shopping. We went to nearby, Plaza Caracol and picked up some goodies to take back home. It was a quick bus trip, about 15 minutes each way. The buses in the hotel zone run frequently so we barely waited 5 minutes for each bus.  After a little wallet exercise we returned to the hotel and the rest of the day went pretty much the same as the first: sun, sand, water and lots of laughter.

After spending the day being rejuvenated  by the sea we returned to the room and dolled ourselves up again for our last night in México. We had a nice dinner, followed by a little wine and some dessert– not necessarily in  that order, and when it comes to the wine definitely not just the one glass. We decided to skip the show and go back to the room to pack since we had to be up by 5 am for our 620 am pick up the next day. After the packing was done we sat on our beds and watched a movie together–with some wine of course. It was a wonderful end to a fantastic mini getaway.

This was our first official trip together, but it will definitely not be our last. We spent the entire trip chatting, laughing and just acting a fool. It was refreshing to spend time away with my girls being free and enjoying their company. Female friendships are important for our growth and the nourishment of our souls. So make some free time with your tribe this weekend and take a plane ride somewhere, anywhere or a simple road trip together. Recharge your batteries and enjoy each other’s company.

Be sure to scroll down for today’s travel tip and to check out some more photos of our “Grown-Up Spring Break” getaway. Until next time my lovelies & remember to make it a wanderful life,

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Travel Tip:

The key ingredient to enjoying your time away with friends is leaving the drama at home after all getaways and vacations are about relaxation, exploration and sharing those memories with the people traveling with you. So when you find a group of friends you travel well with cherish them and see the world together.

“Viva México!” in photos:

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life lessons from amy

7 Life Lessons from Amy Poehler

Amy Meredith Poehler was born in Boston, Massachusetts on September 6 1971 to high school teachers Eileen and William Poehler. She grew up in nearby Burlington and moved to Chicago in 1993, after graduating from Boston College. Amy joined the improvisational theater troupe, Second City where she met the fabulous Tina Fey — the dynamic duo would go on to work on SNL together and host the hell out of the Golden Globes for 3 consecutive years. Amy started her TV career in 1998 on Comedy Central’s Upright Citizen Brigade. She appeared on NBC’s Saturday Night Live (SNL) from 2001-2008 and in 2009, she starred as the quirky and lovable Leslie Knope on NBC’s Parks and Recreation for 7 seasons.

Amy Poehler, as we’ve all come to know and love her, is an actress, comedian, voice-over artist, director, producer and writer. She is dynamic and one of the funniest women in the business. So today my lovelies, in honor of the 5’2 powerhouse, I’m sharing with you 7 Life Lessons from the amazing…Amy ‘Boston’ Poehler.


 1. Embrace your silly.

“Nobody looks stupid when they are having fun.”

There is nothing wrong with embracing your silly. Some of my most soul renewing moments happen while I’m letting go, laughing and just acting a fool. There is a definite freedom in silliness.

2. Be inspired by others.

“Watching great people do what you love is a good way to start learning how to do it yourself.”

Surrounding yourself with people you find inspirational is good for the soul. Seeing other people shining and living the life we aim for passionately only fuels our drive.

3. Finding your voice won’t happen overnight.

“It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for. It takes years to find your voice and seize your real estate.”

As we mature we realize what kind of woman we are becoming. And along with that we realize that our life decisions are only ours to make. So give yourself time. It won’t happen overnight but it will happen. The most important thing is that you give yourself time to get to know YOU.

4. Don’t let society or the media determine your value.

“I had already made a decision early on that I would be a plain girl with tons of personality, and accepting it made everything a lot easier. If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be. I decided early on it was not going to be my looks. I have spent a lifetime coming to terms with this idea and I would say I am about 15 to 20 percent there….Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.”

Society and the media will always try to tell you what you should look like, what you should wear and what you should value. But ultimately, it’s up to us to decide what kind of person we want to be. Don’t worry about meeting the “standards” of others, it’s your body and your life make the best decisions for yourself.

5. It’s okay to stand up for yourself.

“Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. Sometimes it works.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m a little timid when it comes to standing up for myself. I am quick to jump up and speak out for a friend but for myself, I normally get quiet and try to avoid any form of confrontation. The problem with that is I allow myself to be pushed to the point that I just snap, and that’s not good either. So let’s all take this life lesson to heart. Speak up for yourself, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with letting someone know they’ve hurt your feelings or overstepped a boundary.

6. Surround yourself with people that make your life better.

“Now that you’re starting to have a sense of who you are, you know better what kind of friend you want and need. My peers are crushing it right now and it’s totally amazing and energizing to watch. I have made friends with older women whom I have admired for years who let me learn from their experience. I drink from their life well. They tell me about hormones and vacation spots and neck cream. I am interested in people who swim in the deep end. I want to have conversations about real things. I’m tired of talking about movies and gossiping about friends. Life is crunchy and complicated and all the more delicious.”

One of the most amazing things we could do for our own growth is surround ourselves with positive and inspiring people. As you get older you begin to appreciate positive people on a higher level. Life is so filled with stress and negativity the last thing you want to add in your life are people that only bring the same. I want to be with people that nurture my spirit and my mind, people that enrich my life not take away from it.

7. Empowering other women and girls is important.

“Change the world by being yourself” 

Empowering other women and young girls is one of the most important contributions we can make to society. And Amy along with best friend, writer and SNL alumni Meredith Walker are doing just that via Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls, which “aims to help girls find confidence in their own aspirations and talents.”

I hope you enjoyed today’s Life Lessons. Until next time my lovelies,

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LinksALaMode

Links à la Mode | April 2015 Edition

 Links à la Mode is a collection of  blog posts, plus size news and overall things that have inspired me, moved me and made me smile this month.  Hope you enjoy them as much as I did — Love, Zadry

in Body Positive News…

My Body-Positive Social Media Strategy

by  Ivy LaArtista, for See Body.Love Self

“Success doesn’t happen overnight and it doesn’t happen by chance either. If you want to be successful at something, you have to be intentional about your choices. My relationship with my body and my holistic health are very important to me. I want to be successful at honoring my body, loving myself, and maintaining my wellness. I realized a while ago that healing my body relationship and improving my holistic health was not going to happen without my commitment to the process. I began taking ownership of my body relationship and wellness. I took responsibility for what it was and became invested in the process of my own evolution and body journey.
When it comes to my body relationship, I know that media is a big influence…”


This Plus-Size Blogger’s Bathing Suit Picture Went Viral For An Unexpected Reason

by Rachel Zarrell

“THIS WAS NOT BRAVE,” Kane wrote on the post, which has been shared almost 50,000 times. “I’ve been told how brave I am for not having a coverup, but going with out a wrap would only take bravery if I cared what others thought of me.”


5 Myths That Are Keeping You From Having a Fabulous Fattitude

by Nadia Nadeem, for The Body Is Not An Apology

“We reinforce strange expectations by validating certain bodies but not others. You are expected to have an hourglass figure, complete with an even bust-to-hip ratio. Your legs should be long and thin, your arms the same. You should be tall, but not taller than all of the boys. Your weight should be optimal. It’s as if nature has made a mistake we have to correct.”


This Is What Plus-Size Clothes Look Like On Plus-Size Women

by Kristin Chirico, Sheridan Watson & Macey J Foronda

“…plus-size women must often buy items based only on their own measurements and how it looks on the model.

Making it worse: Smaller models may be padded in order to fill out plus-size clothes, giving them body shapes that might be more perfect than those plus-size bodies actually found in nature.”


13 Times Body Positive Artwork Shut Up All The Haters And Inspired Us Along The Way

by  Alysse Dalessandro

“Traditionally, art has always mirrored a societal standard of beauty, which is why plus-size women see themselves reflected more in the paintings of the past than they might today. But a handful of talented artists and illustrators are changing that trend by creating empowering body positive artwork. As an indie designer, I am a strong proponent of the idea that art and fashion can be used as a means to challenge societal norms and create social change. Whether strictly through imagery or a mix of words and images, the message portrayed by body positive artists in an important one: All bodies, including fat bodies, are not just acceptable, but also beautiful.”


TO: LINDA HEASLEY, C/O LANE BRYANT, RE:#IMNOANGEL

by Jes Baker, for The Militant Baker

“When a person is constantly bombarded by images of one “ideal” body (plus or otherwise) it wreaks havoc on their psyche. The continual exposure mentally trains them to believe that only ONE body is worthy and this unfortunate social conditioning is one of the largest contributors to low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, and other severe body image related issues- all of which affect daily living. Visible diversity is a solution to these problems, and asking for it is anything but egotistical. It’s absolutely necessary.”

Update:


Getting Naked In A Train Station

by Fiona Longmuir, for The Escapologist’s Daughter

“I am so tired of the message that women have to make some kind of effort in order to be socially acceptable. Is this kind of guilt tripping and body shaming really the best way to shift your products? Why not run with a tagline about women feeling amazing on the beach? Or better yet, women being so confident that they don’t even give their body a second thought? Even a photo of a woman having a freaking awesome time on the beach, instead of this stony-faced statue, would have made it slightly better. But as is, I basically hate everything about this poster.”


Why Fat Girls should NEVER show their skin
by Mohria Harris, for Coil And Curve

“If you have been attuned to recent discussions and the ever growing acceptance of larger women in fashion you would have noticed the booming trend of bigger women flaunting and galavanting themselves around in barely-there ensembles. From social media and that ever popular hashtag #ImNoAngel….there seems to be a phase of allowing bigger women to feel as if they’re accepted in todays society, especially when showing their bodies.”


  in Plus Size Fashion…

Flower Power” Lookbook

SWAK Designs launches their second Spring 2015 lookbook : Flower Power. Side effects of this lookbook might include wanderlust– you’re going to definitely want to take these pieces on your next trip. Available online in sizes 1X-6X.*

(*this section includes affiliate links for SWAK Designs)

Julie Gauze Tunic. Click photo to GET IT NOW!

Julie Gauze Tunic. Click photo to GET IT NOW!

Lana Tie Dye Dress. Click photo to GET IT NOW!

Lana Tie Dye Dress. Click photo to GET IT NOW!

Natalia Chiffon Dress. Click photo to GET IT NOW!

Natalia Chiffon Dress. Click photo to GET IT NOW

Soleil Gauze Dress. Click photo to GET IT NOW!

Soleil Gauze Dress. Click photo to GET IT NOW!


Wonderland” by Rum & Coke

“It’s always tea time” in this curvalicious wonderland, and I’m here for every minute of it! Courtney Noelle, the designer behind Rum & Coke brings us a new whimsical and colorful collection featuring the gorgeous Alex La Rosa. Available online in sizes S-3X.


Laura Wells for Swim Sexy 

What do you get when Swimsuits for All (S4A) teams up with an environmental scientist & plus size model? Laura Wells’ eco-friendly capsule collection for Swim Sexy made of 100% recycled smart fabrics. Available online in sizes 10-24.*

(*this section includes affiliate links for S4A)


 by Grisel. Spring 2015 Collection

Grisel brings the heat in this new collection for rebdolls.com. Available online in sizes S-4X.


in the land of Visual Inspiration…

 

See y’all next month my lovelies!

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My Belly And I

Unconditional Body Beautiful: Part Four: MY BELLY AND I

This month’s Unconditional Body Beautiful is all about showing love to the center of your body– our fabulous belly.

Our belly is the core of our body. It keeps us centered. It’s our first connection to life. After all, it’s where our belly button lies and before we were individual beings on this planet, that button was our umbilical cord. That cord served as a bridge between us and our mothers. It was the connection that supplied us with nourishment for growth and development. So our bellies deserve a lot of love and adoration on our part.


My belly is my core. It centers me and it’s the place where my happiness begins its travel and erupts as laughter from my body.


And when I think belly-love, I think of belly dancing.

What’s belly dancing? Belly dancing (known in Arabic as Raqs Sharqi, or Eastern dance) is a Middle Eastern dance “with movements emanating from the torso rather than in the legs and feet. The dance often focuses upon isolating different parts of the body, moving them independently in sensuous patterns, weaving together the entire feminine form. Belly dancing is generally performed barefoot, thought by many to emphasize the intimate physical connection between the dancer, her expression, and Mother Earth.

Unlike the way it’s portrayed in a lot of western media, belly dancing is not a dance for male enticement or seduction. Belly dancing is a celebration of womanhood, of the female body and the connection to both herself and nature. It’s empowering, vibrant and sensual.

Belly dance, in its purest form, is a dance for women by women. In ancient times it was considered sacred and not intended to be seen by men at all. It was a fertility ritual dance, a type of Lamaze in which the mother-to-be’s female friends and relatives would gather and dance in order to help her with breathing and increase the chances of a healthy birth. The dance was performed barefoot in order to celebrate and maintain the connection to the fertility of Mother Earth.

There’s magic in being a part of such an empowering dance. Being in tune with your body as it sways and moves in its natural rhythm is definitely food for your soul.

I took belly dancing about 10 years ago, and I have to admit that I was intimidated at first. I went in thinking that it was only for certain body types, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s a true celebration of womanhood that embraces ALL women, regardless of body type or age. And once I finally got out of my head, I began to enjoy myself. And I loved every single part of it, from the flowing undulations of the arms and upper body, the hip shimmies, the figure 8’s. I felt connected to my body through the movements and music– and it was absolutely glorious!

Belly dancing is much more than gauzy customs and pelvic thrusts. It’s a form of female empowerment. And when it comes to self-love, it’s the perfect way of showing your beautiful belly some well deserved TLC.

If you’re intrigued and would like to find a dance class near you drop by www.bellydanceclasses.net— they have an extensive list of belly dancing teachers broken down by country/city. If you’re not ready to take your belly dancing on the road, but want to get your belly lovin’ groove on drop by YouTube. They have lots belly dance videos for beginners, so you can practice at your own pace at home.

Until next time my lovelies– remember to be kind and loving to yourselves,

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Unconditional Body Beautiful is a self-love series created by Rebequita Rose“It is a year-long collaboration which I created-slash-founded, and I will be doing this with many other bloggers…We will focus mostly on discussing our bodies more than on fashion, but at the same time we will fuse the two together.”

#UnconditionalBodyBeautiful

On the 18th of every month we will each publish a new post discussing that month’s theme (body part), so be sure to keep an eye out for the hashtag on social media for some wonderful posts and body love inspiration.
 For more #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful inspiration be sure to check out these wonderful blogs:

Illustration used in featured image for this post: “This Is How I Roll” via Marg-a-Lot’s Art Shtuff  

"This Is How I Roll" via Marg-a-Lot's Art Shtuff

WalkingMyDaughtersLine

Guest Post : Walking My Daughter’s Line

Because you’re mine, I walk the line” — Johnny Cash

Hi, my lovelies. Last week my friend Kamy shared with me that she was concerned about the body image messages her daughter, my god daughter and one of the cutest baby girls I know, was being exposed to. I asked her to share her experience, as only a momma bear could, with all of us. And no, you don’t have to be a mommy to relate, if you have a special little girl in your life that you love then this is for you too, because helping a little girl to grow into a confident young woman takes the involvement and love of the community around her.

— Zadry


My daughter, Giselle, is the kind of kid who sleeps in on the weekends like her Mom, but gets up and screams to the world, “Let’s do this!” –Seriously!

She loves to ride her bike, fights like a fiend with her older brother. She’s on point with her Karate, sharp as a tack in school and filled with devilish wit! She’s a cannonball of energy and fierceness. She and her brother are all that is right in the world.

As a Mom I’ve been very conscious of how my children would and should grow into their own confident self-identity. I thought I had covered all the bases as best I could for my daughter. Lately though, I began to notice a little shadow in her shine.

You see, she knows her oblong little girl body is built differently from the girls she sees frolicking on those posters in Target and Justice while we hunt for her clothes. The impact really began to hit her when a friend of hers began to slap at her skin “jokingly” to emphasize that unlike them she was built with a little jiggle. In that moment and in the months to follow it didn’t matter to her how smart she was, how strong and fit, or how creative she was, she was plagued by one question and when she came to me with it I thought I was ready.

“Mom, am I fat?” She said with her big brown eyes sad and perplexed.

I answered quickly as best I could, “Would it make you less amazing, creative or fit and capable?”
“No” she says in a small voice. Eventually, I patiently got her to admit that she notices that she’s different from the other girls and more importantly they notice too and apparently make it a point to notice in larger groups. My daughter has fallen prey to frenemies and defends them staunchly while they erode her confidence.

I put on my Mom cape and headed over to school to have a talk with her teacher. After a quick classroom table re-seating things have gotten a little bit better…riggghhtt?! Well not quite. I know it’s out of my hands now because my daughter thinks I’m clouded in Mommy vision which doesn’t let me see her the way everyone else does. It’s a right of passage, I know it is, but I want her to come through it stronger.

I asked her older cousin (who she looks just like) to have a little pep talk with her. I’m sad to say that the pep talk didn’t do such a great job.

I’m now scrambling to find the tools to help her. The tools I never had when I was confronted with my own otherness of pudgiblity and babyfattedness. I show her images of women of all different sizes and weights. I point out the vast differences in their body types and how that impacts what you see, and try to explain that ultimately their bodies don’t determine who they are. Yeah, those images are of adults and my daughter is watching Lumpy Space Princess on TV. A plethora of dumb chubbies are in her daily cartoons slamming her along with the kid at school and I just want to scream. I can’t help her I can’t make her see. I am a chubby feminist flop…

Then out of nowhere she comes to me and says, “Mom did you know if I was built like a Disney Princess or Barbie I wouldn’t be healthy?! I would most probably die?!” “Yes that’s true, hun,” I responded.

“Yep, I’m glad I’m not gonna be like that. It isn’t good.” — Lol, my kid rocks so hard!

Now, we haven’t come out the other side of this thing. I know that it’s a constant fight to remain confident when you’re just that side of different, but she’s walking her own line just fine. In the meantime and through whatever happens, I’ll be walking beside her, mom cape in tow.

 

curvesalamode.thighs

Unconditional Body Beautiful: Part Three: MY JOURNEY ON MY LEGS

It’s that time again my lovelies, we’re chatting about unconditional body beautiful, self-love, and this month it’s all about the journey on our legs.


 My legs keep me grounded, allow me to dance and sometimes…fly.


My legs have always been my favorite part of my body. They are strong and sturdy. And no, they are not perfect. They are speckled with cellulite, my thighs have no gap in sight, and my calves have always been large and in charge. Which has made me very envious of girls who are able to rock those fabulous riding boots during fall and winter seasons. I’ve yet to meet a boot that has zipped up the complete circumference of my powerful calves.

I went through a phase in my journey where I hid my legs and felt ashamed of their size. But as I progressed on this path of self-love, I found my way back and fell in love with them all over again.

Growing up in Miami requires a lot of skin baring. It’s hot and humid, so summertime (which is basically year round) revolves around a lot of shorts and swimsuit wearing days. But, when your thighs are rather larger than those of your girlfriends’, our little friend “comparison” is never too far behind. And as most of us have discovered, there’s nothing unhealthier for our self-esteem than to start pushing our bodies to fit into molds that they were obviously never meant to fit into.

My legs weren’t made to be long, thin or delicate. They’re short, strong and voluminous. And that is good. Actually it’s more than good, it’s perfect. Because that’s how I was created and this is the body that I choose to embrace, not the one society or the media thinks I should have.

These are my legs, they’re the most powerful part of my body. Yes! my thighs are thunderous. Yes! they take up space, but I’ve walked miles in them. They’ve carried me around the world. They are the roots that connect me firmly to the ground. These are the legs that allow me to dance, to run, to explore. And I love every single dimpled inch of them.

 Until next time my lovelies– remember to be kind and loving to yourselves,

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Unconditional Body Beautiful is a self-love series created by Rebequita Rose“It is a year-long collaboration which I created-slash-founded, and I will be doing this with many other bloggers…We will focus mostly on discussing our bodies more than on fashion, but at the same time we will fuse the two together.”

#UnconditionalBodyBeautiful

On the 18th of every month we will each publish a new post discussing that month’s theme (body part), so be sure to keep an eye out for the hashtag on social media for some wonderful posts and body love inspiration.
 For more #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful inspiration be sure to check out these wonderful blogs:

Frenemies|www.curvesalamode.com

Frenemies

Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” — Oprah Winfrey


fren·e·my
ˈfrenəmi/

  • a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry.
  • a blend of friend and enemy

Have you ever had THAT friend in your circle? You know the one– the drama bringer,  the centerstage diva.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve begun to truly appreciate my space and time. I’ve become careful with whom I choose to be friends with, especially the people I bring into my circle of peace. Life already comes with a lot of ups and downs, and your friendships are meant to add to your life. To nurture your soul. Not to drain your energies or spirit.

And if you find yourself surrounded by someone who is constantly draining your spiritual energy with their actions or words, the healthiest thing you can do for yourself is part ways. Now don’t get me wrong, even the best of friends will have a disagreement. We all have our cranky days. But it’s how you communicate with one another that makes the difference.

Is your friend honest yet thoughtful of your feelings or are they constantly tearing you down, with backhanded compliments and their version of “constructive” criticism?

When they hurt you or make a mistake, do they apologize or do they focus only on their feelings, while dismissing yours? Do they embrace your other friendships or does your attention-shift create jealousy fits instead?

My lovelies, these are all signs of a toxic friendship.

I completely believe in the giving of your heart and time to those you love. And you invest in friendships not because you’re expecting a return, but it’s what comes from the heart– to be a source of happiness and enrichment to those you love. But being around someone who only receives becomes draining. To be surrounded by a frenemy is an emotional and soul draining experience.

So what to do when confronted with the possibility of a frenemy?

  • Try to talk things out. Let your friend know that their words have hurt you. Remember, to be honest and respectful. There’s never a reason to be nasty or sarcastic.
  • Listen to your instincts. Does your friend elevate you or do their words and actions chip away at your self-esteem? How does being around them make you feel?
  • Walk away. If after talking things out, your friend continues to act the same or seems uninterested in changing their behavior or attitude the best thing to do is to end the friendship.

Above all, remember you have to do what’s best for yourself and your peace of mind. Holding on to a toxic relationship stops you from being your best self. So, wish them well and continue your walk down the yellow brick road to zen.

Until next time my lovelies,

sig2015

A Manifesto of Love www.curvesalamode.com

A Manifesto of Love : Womanhood

Let us be confident women who love our bodies unapologetically.

Ignore the “rules” imposed by society.

You don’t have to be a size 0 and you don’t require curves to be and feel beautiful– remember they’re our bodies, our rules.

Let us pledge to love our bodies as they are, because the sizes of our tummies, hips, bottoms and thighs do not define who we are as human beings.

That number on the scale, it only measures mass. It doesn’t capture our souls. The scale doesn’t know how smart, sassy, caring and simply spectacular we all are.

And, my lovelies, believe me when I say “we are ALL absolutely spectacular”.

Let us be nurturing women who uplift other women.

Encourage, inspire and nourish the dreams and hopes of other women.

We don’t have to be in competition.

We can succeed without feeding into the mentality that only one of us can shine at a time.

Let us obliterate those glass ceilings together.

Let us be warrior women who fight for the rights of those who can’t fight for themselves.

Let us be passionate about making this world better for the generations of young women and little girls to follow.

Let us stop slut shaming, victim blaming, body size bullying

and any other form of victimization that says “you’re not worthy”, “you’re not good enough.”

Because they are all lies.

Our sex does not make us weak or lesser human beings.

Let us be a voice, a shout, a thunderous cry for all the women in the world trying to get an education, trying to claim their basic rights and respect in a world that deems them unworthy and disposable just because they are female.

Let us not forget that this struggle also includes our sisterhood in the LGBT community. Because this fight is for all women, regardless of the gender they were assigned at birth.

Let us be indestructible women that serve as beacons of light and love in a world filled with chaos.

And let us never forget the words of Audre Lorde:

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”

Happy International Women’s Day my lovelies. Until next time,

sig2015

Art used in featured image for this post: “Power” by Shepard Fairey

"Power" by Shepard Fairey